Heaven On Earth

Grey's Anatomy, my favourite US TV series ever; I would say it's the best US TV series I've ever watched and in fact I've only watched two US TV series before that were QAF and Heroes LOL! I think most people know that this series is about the doctors and saving life. The greatness about this series is every episode brings me in tears LOL. It's a really touching series and this is what I'm gravitated to. It's about loves, cares, tears and life that encounter and assemble in and out of the hospital.

Hospital, a space that links between heaven (hell) and earth. People die (presume they go to heaven not hell ^_^) and people get back their life there (earth). Miracle happens and doom overwhelms. Doctors are there to save life. But what would a doctor do and handle when it comes to a dilemma whether to save a kid's life who's on the brink of death and give up a serial killer's life who will be sentenced to death? The kid is dying and waiting for the donor. Presume that the only donor who's a match is a prisoner who has a severe stabbing injury in his spine and will be sentenced for death in couple of days. And the kid has not much time that left. What would the doctors choose to be? A surgeon who saves the kid's life or a executioner who takes away the prisoner's life for saving the kid? Things change and whether it's good or evil, it's all in a slip of the thoughts. For most people, hospital is like a jinx or hoodoo place that resembles death, or more likely it's called, a limbo.

~SilverAngel ^^~

I've been admitted to hospital once and it was a year ago. I was suffering appendicitis and it happened so acutely. This simple surgery nearly costs me my life and I'm not exaggerated. I was first admitted to government hospital because I haven't bought personal insurance to cover the charge that time and I didn't want to burden my parents. For God's sake, I didn't even allow eating anything or seeping a drip of water for the first 8 hours before the surgery. I felt that I was dehydrating and my organs were dried to dead. And gosh, I felt like my face were collapsed and folded with wrinkles. I was so worried my lengcai face will be damaged after that LOL. The worst thing is my surgery kept delaying and I was like a half dead man lying on the bed waiting to be executed anytime if I was that lucky one who's picked by the God of Death. But it was kinda good thing for the surgery to be delayed because I can at least eat something and rehydrate myself.

That night while waiting, out of sudden, I felt that I could hardly breathe and almost suffocated. It felt like my intestines, bowels, stomach and diaphragm going all the way up and pushing my lungs that brought me to suffocate. I was seizing on the brink of death and I kept telling myself that I don't want to die in a government hospital LOL. I've had a hunch that my appy was burst. However, God's mercy on this lengcai and I was like escaped from the limbo that finally I could be able to catch my breath slowly ^_^. It still gives me the creeps untill now whenever I recall this nightmare. Hell I was staying in that stupid hospital for almost 26 hours without having any doctor to perform an appendectomy for me. WTF! Therefore, never send yourself to government hospital if you're suffering any acute illness.

I was then transferred to private hospital. Soon after I had admitted, I was sent to the OR (operation room) for the surgery. After the surgery, the doctor told me that my appy was burst and luckily it's not too late. Though appendectomy is quite a minor surgery, it is fatal if the appy is burst due to the toxin that spreads in the body. After the surgery, I had to take those antibiotics, painkillers and colourful medicine and it's really scary. I discharged from the hospital after 5 days. After few days, I was re-admitted to the hospital due to the fever. Fever is quite serious if it occurs after the surgery for it maybe a symptom of infection of the burst appy in the body. I spent another 3 days in the hospital..damn!

My luck sucked to the max that time after I went back from KL to my hometown. My wound was infected and it came out with the pass. I nearly cried seeing the pass coming out between the joints of the suture. I was then admitted to the hospital AGAIN. Gosh! I was lying on the bed and was like waiting to be slaughtered. The nurse was gonna to take out the stitches without anesthetic! I kept asking if it hurts and she said it won't hurt. It was the first time I felt like the nurse was lying to a patient LOL. The process wasn't hurt but the fears that conquered me made me feel hurt. What would the wound look like after the stitches being taken out? Yes it looks like a half-opened mouth for God's sake! I didn't even dare to see the wound's new face! It must be bloody underneath and maybe I can see through my organs inside LOL! With the wound half-opened, the nurse used the gauze and did the wound dressing (washing the wound with antiseptic). My hands were held in fist and I was kinda shivering. It pained me down to my spine and core! T_T

I still remember it was a hungry ghost's month that time and I was staying in the hospital alone! I called my hub (who happens to be my ex now) to come and accompany me but damn he'd rather leave me alone there. It was damn cold in the hospital so I just asked him to bring me a sweater. He came and left after half an hour. I was depressing and I asked myself what did I get after all for loving a person so much? Well, I didn't even get a tiny mercy. I was damn sick that time and he could just leave when I needed him the most! My tears burst out but I couldn't cry...it would hurt my wound T_T ..Since then, I've got my strength back and started to let go of him gradually. And I have just found out from one of his friends that he cheated on me with another guy when I was sick that time!

~Love hurts actually as Yanny said~

It is quite a long and deep scar under my waist though my friends claim that it looks man and cool =.=". The scar reminds me of things that will never be forgotten. It taught me about life and makes me a fighter for the tears I had shed. I thank God for having my lovely family and all my good friends who really care for me and they showed up when I need them and help me pull through my tribulation and tough time. My mom who has been taking so good care of me and endured all my tantrums that I've put on her when I was in hospital, I'm sorry and I love you mom! My dad who has been so supportive and always concerns about me, I hope I' ll reincarnate to be your son for the next life! I'm really blessed and I hope I can have my family back as what it was.

Life is short. We will never know what will happen tomorrow. It pinches me to see my parents are getting older with more and more wrinkles on face and hairs in white. I am so so so scared of losing my parents one day though I know death is inevitable. I don't even dare to think about it. Sometimes I hope I'd die first rather to see they leaving me. I would sure be crumbled and crying 'till I'm dehydrated! I've watched my uncle dying. It really grieved me and I cried so so badly.

Where is heaven? Where is hell? Do you believe in heaven and hell? I do believe that they exist. Because without a heaven; without a hell, we're all just headed for limbo. But..it doesn't really important for me whether they exist. For what that matters is, cherish the people you love and who loves you because they are your persons, your godsends as Heaven On Earth...

~I hope I can peace with my loved ones no matter where would I be~